Friday, May 13, 2011

Pulling my own tooth

Ohhhhh...the agony of a toothache. It's like...why call it a toothache when your entire head freaking hurts??? Several months ago I broke a tooth. Yeah, I know...months ago. I broke it in half and it really hurt. Well just 4 or 5 months before I had a molar pulled. It hurt so bad that I was in the dentist office screaming.

Now mind you that I have an incredibly high tolerance of pain. I don't mind needles, bee stings, I've had chronic back pains, etc. I even broke my ankle when I was 8 mos pregnant with my daughter. The surgeon scheduled me for surgery and I told him that I refused to take anesthesia or to be put to sleep. I told him that I broke it w/o anesthesia--you can fix it w/o anesthesia. The nurse was in the room and said, 'But you don't understand--' but the doctor interrupted her and told her that I could just get an epidural; which is what you normally get when you have a baby anyways, and it would numb me from the waist down. I was in a wheelchair for three days, wearing a splint on a broken ankle while I waited for surgery. No painkillers.

The surgeon told me to bring headphones to surgery so that I wouldn't hear when he re-broke the bone and began drilling the screws. He put up a big tent so that I wouldn't see what he was doing. Silly me, I was amused when I felt him put all of his weight on my ankle and it broke...again.  I was amused again when I heard the drill and felt the vibration in my body as he screwed the plate into place...

But when the surgery was over a nurse came up to me and stabbed me in the leg with syringe on the sly. I was so 'outraged' as I yelled at her and demanded to know what she'd given me. A cocktail of morphine, demerol and...something now escapes me. Well I was out cold within minute.

Gee, I never really thought about what I'd feel like AFTER the surgery. Within minutes of regaining consciousness I was buzzing the nurse and begging for drugs. I do mean beg. I said please. No...I said PLEASE!!! She said No. That woman made me wait 15 minutes for drugs. Silly me.

So back to the Dentist. I know that it shouldn't hurt when you have a tooth pulled. But I guarantee you that he hadn't given me any anesthesia even though he shot me 8 or more times. I'm convinced that he hurt me purposely. Anyways, it was the worst experience and since then I haven't been able to get the courage to go back. So it's been about 8 months and the tooth is practically wiggling in the socket.

I just want to pull it.

So today I made all of the preparations for self surgery.

1. brush teeth
2. Lysterine to disenfect
3. Novacaine
4. painkillers--no vicodin so Advil
5. 3 shots of cherry vodka chased with some Pepsi Cola
6. Strip off clothes...though this part is a bit unclear. It seemed right at the time.
7. Take picture of loose tooth...still unclear why. Again seemed like a good idea at the time.
8. Brush teeth again, more Lysterine, more Novacaine, another shot of cherry vodka (but this time on the rocks. And listen to some music and dance in underwear.)
9. Pull up information on the internet advising why you should not pull out your own teeth.
10. chicken out and blog about it.


  1. Girl, that sounds like some mess I would do! I am laughing so hard my daughter wants in on the joke!

  2. Pep!
    Ok. 1st... ok.
    Idk what to say. Yeesh. If you have a problem with that dentist you should go elsewhere! You could come up to Upstate NY and I'll pull it for you! Seriously, if the tooth is loose it definitely shouldn't hurt as much as the last time, the anesthesia that is used in the mouth will take away any sensation of pain but not that of propioception which is why you can still feel the pressure when someone is getting the tooth out. Which unfortunately is still sort of painful for some folks.
    But this post is just to say... Im sorry you have an awful toothache and I hope you find a gentle caring dentist to extract it for you but please... please don't try and do it on your own there are a lot of things that... may not go well. So! Good luck Pep.

  3. Good Lord!!! That's best laugh I've had all month!

    Thanks Pep

  4. OMG,
    I pulled it. But I can't remember what to do with the gaping hole in my mouth. I think you pack it with cotton until it stops bleeding and don't drink out of a straw for a day or too.

    I was on the phone talking to my ex and explaining how scared I was to pull it and what if I only pull it half out and next thing I know I was tugging on it straight down since that didn't hurt and I tugged it...halfway out. I started yelling in the phone, 'oh shit, oh shit, I only pulled it half out!' He said call me back it's probably going to bleed when you pull it all the way out.

    I told him there was already blood everywhere. I grabbed tissue and yanked. It didn't even hurt. It hurt more when it was in my head. Pulling it was a piece of cake. OMG, so happy that's over!

  5. Kim, Kim, Kim

    Get your behind to a dentist and get that tooth pulled. It won't be nearly as bad as the other one if it's loose.

    Listen to me now, woman. (If you're sober) XD


  6. Yea you're right just bite on some gauze or fold up a piece of paper towel and bite on that for an hour or so. Pep you're crazy woman! Also no drinking through a straw and don't spit the blood out, you need a blood clot to form there and no smoking for a few days if you do. Also you can start rinsing tomorrow you want to keep food out of that socket and lastly get your but to a dentist in a few weeks so you can get a check up and get everything looked at! People underestimate their oral health and it really is connected to your overall health, periodontist (gum disease) is linked to cardiovascular disease and low birth weight with pregnant women and now you have a gap somewhere in your mouth which can lead to your teeth shifting and other problems (may also not happen but it's likely)... anyway hope things are well - dds from upstate ny

  7. rinsing with warm salt water *

  8. I see you pulled it. Make sure you got it all. Go to a dentist to be sure.

    Glad it didn't hurt too much. Told you it wouldn't. :)


  9. I am going to have to end up going to the dentist because there is a shard of tooth still deeply rooted on the outskirts of the socket. I can feel it really well with my thumb. Guess the dentist will be putting my ass to sleep.

  10. My goodness gracious that is the most serious AND hilarious thing I've read! Coming from someone that isn't a dentist but has had 8 root canals, 6 crowns, a bridge, an absessed tooth, and a tooth extraction; even though its out, infection is a very serious thing and you HAVE to go see a dentist so s/he can get you cleaned up, stitched up (if necessary), and some antibiotics.
    Please don't think that I'm trying to preach to you, but I also have a high tolerance for pain, and I've cried from pain once in my adult life. That absessed tooth had me balled up in a fetal position like a little bitch lol. If I can spare anyone that kind of pain then that would make me happy.
    Take care Pep!!

  11. LOL@sexyauthorkitty. I do know that pain well and have been there myself. Of all the pain I've ever had no ones ever made me scream in pain the way that dentist did.

    But I'm listening to you dds in upstate New York and taking your words very seriously. I have heard of several people that have died from infected teeth.

  12. Pep get thee to an oral surgeon asap! This is nothing to play with ( in another life I know a thing or two about oral pathology). The shard must come out to prevent infection. Self surgery rarely works out (except in cases where you have no choice! Remember the scientist who did her own breast biopsy because she was at the south pole alone at a research station?). So get thee to the surgeon's chair she's waiting with a syringe of nite-nite:))

  13. Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim get your ass to a dentist. ZOMG you're worse than my husband (he tried to crawl out of the ER after collapsing). You just have to find one who is experienced with nervous patients. They have good drugs and lots of them. They will hook you up.

  14. You crack me up. I'm an adult with braces. They get tightened once a month and I had to get 3 teeth pulled before I got them. It doesn't really bother me at all.

    I think I was more of a chicken before I went to the military. I've had 4 wisdom teeth removed, and 4 other teeth, and I now have a 5th wisdom tooth coming in and its coming out sometime this year. Its nothing to me now

  15. what a thing to read when ya wake up, you had me laughing here ;-)

  16. Okay pep!! Girl you are a trip!! but u do know alcohol thins the blood causing extra bleeding(found that out when i was going to get a tattoo on a night of heavy drinking and the artist wouldnt do it.) My dentist is a wizard with that needle of novacaine!!I swear he shot me up and my whole mouf was numb. Pulled my wisdom tooth out and i felt nada!! So maybe if you put the tooth under your pillow The Rock may come visit? hmmmmm?? okay foreal Get to the dentist PDQ!!

  17. i'm literally going through the same thing (wtf cracked tooth!), only i would never ever ever have the balls to do what you just did! i have never in my life felt so much pain coming from something as small as a freaking tooth! the pain could only be described as satanic, so i know what you mean by wanting to take some pliers to it!! but seriously, you MUST see a dentist or an oral surgeon ASAP because it can turn dangerous real fast if it gets infected. i have an appointment for a root canal on monday, and in the mean time i've been popping antibiotics like m&ms and vicodin has became my best friend- and it was very hard for me to take something narcotic like that (all self-righteousness went out the window as soon as sweet relief flooded through my veins...but i could never be an addict, it makes you constipated like you wouldn't believe...ANYWAYS...) so yeah, i'm glad your tooth (no longer) isn't bothering you, but i beg you to see a dentist! there ARE good docs out there (i have a huge crush on my endodontist just from his novocaine-giving abilities alone)! good luck!

  18. Pep, thanks for the laugh. I understand about going to the dentist. No one likes it but it is a neccessary evil. Now you have me thinking about the evil dentist in Little Shop of Horrors.


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