Saturday, April 30, 2011

All too often,
We say
What we hear others say.
We think
What we are told that we think.
We see
What we are permitted to see.
We see what we are told that we see.
Repetition and pride are the keys to this.
To hear and to see
Even an obvious lie
And again and again
May be to say it,
Almost by reflex
Then to defend it
Because we have said it
And at last to embrace it
Because we've defended it.
-Octavia E Butler


Friday, April 29, 2011

Beast...a decision has been made

Drum roll please...(I'm so freaking dramatic). After careful consideration, and reading every one of your comments, I've decided that Beast gets a slight make-over. I probably won't change chapter 12 much. But it's getting to chapter 12 that has to change.

It is true that I didn't develop their relationship as well as I could have...which makes having a baby, and being engaged feel so quick. I do agree with those that say that a modernized fairy tale doesn't have to be written in the same way that a novel like WOS was written. And I don't want to do anything like that again!!!

So think about the actual Beauty and the Beast Fairytale.

-Beast is not a good person due to the issue of looks.
-Beast evolves because of the love for Beauty
-The Beast's castle (subbasement) was a sanctuary and then w/o Beauty, a prison
-Once Beauty has to leave (Recall that I have switched the rolls. Christopher is beauty and Ashleigh is the beast) Beast is at deaths door without Beauty
-Beauty returns and saves the beast...the beast becomes beautiful on the outside as they ever was in the inside.

My change is that Christopher being already 'Beauty' didn't have to become beautiful on the outside. But it was a change that tied in to his final confrontations (I won't say, but you could probably figure out the two figures he has yet to confront) And besides...don't you guys think that if I am writing a fairtytale I should write Christopher transformed into a beautiful man on the outside as well? In this, I am like his fairy god mother. smiles.

And yes yes yes, I will address his Commander and The Marines and Ashleigh's family. I just need to tweak...

which means that there isn't going to be a Friday post. I don't know when, either. Just going to plod along until it's satisfactory to me.

*Dashes away very fast.*

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Re-Write Chapter 12 of Beast?

What do you guys think? Beast has turned out to be a good story. But some have indicated that it felt rushed and were disappointed at how quickly I addressed some very major issues. I can totally agree with that. I'm thinking about re-working this last chapter but wanted to ask your opinion.

Still much to cover; Christopher's new face, Ashleigh's family, the furnace and the family reunion, DeAngelo...I know I tend to rush the end of a story and have been trying to break that trend. So what do you think? Rework it or move forward? Give me your opinion.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

BEAST chapter 12

Sorry!!! Messed up briefly by posting chapter 12 minus the first several paragraphs. If you had hit this link before seeing this message just go back and read the beginning. Sorry!

BEAST chapter 12

BEAST chapter 11

BEAST Chapter 11

Monday, April 25, 2011

My gazebo...fell

Oh my wonderous gazebo! It's collapsed. You guys should see it. This is the BEFORE picture. Ok...I can't lie, this is Mom's gazebo. But she bought the EXACT replica of mine and of course decorated it much better.
Now here is a picture of mine in 2007 after we had hurricane winds. It blew all over my backyard. My neighbors banded together to save my poor little gazebo, which was only a few weeks old. They brought me rope and we tied it to the fence and garage and it was sorta saved.

This is how it looked after the winds.
 Now, before you make fun of me, this is a $600, wrought iron trellis gazebo (though I only paid a fraction of the price on sale) and I only got to use it for a few months before it collapsed. was a little rough; screen torn in a few places, hanging in places. Yeah I sewed it up. And? LOL but I did all of my creative work there. It became my home away from home. I even hooked up stereo speakers! Sometimes I even dragged the hammock in to it and slept. 

I guess it couldn't last forever. After all of the heavy rains, this is all that's left of my sweet sweet gazeobo;

Before you ask...yes that is a great big satellite dish in the back yard and yes my grass needs cutting. Check out where I sewed the top very carefully so that bees and wasps wouldn't get in. 

I guess it's time to invest in a new one.

Here is a picture of me back in the good ol' days (7 mos ago) when I was my gazebo.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

BEAST chapter 9

BEAST chapter 9

What is Pepper Listening to April 23, 2011

Anybody like the group OASIS? Well I'm listening to the group that rose out of the ashes of that one; BEADY EYE. Once Noel Gallagher left, his brother Liam reformed as BEADY EYE. In OASIS Liam did the singing but, in my opinion, Noel was the talent. So it should be interesting to see how this goes. Also, not particularly a fan of Liam on a personal level. I don't like how he bashed Americans in one of his frequent drugged out rages. And I am a huge fan of the GORILLAZ so not particularly happy that out of jealousy he said that he wished Damon Albarn would catch AIDS and die. I don't care for the fact that he gets high off Meth and throws shit as his brother for trying to keep him halfway straight through a performance. And anybody that just decides to cancel a sold out performance moments before going on...well that is just bullshit.

We'll see if BEADY EYE sustains. I'm looking forward to more stuff from Noel. The first single from the new album released in February is called Roller. There is also a really good remake of The Beatles Across the Universe, but I won't put it here because it is a download only single, the proceeds going to help the Japanese earthquake victims.

I love the Beatles influence in Oasis as well as in Roller...but I think this song sounds a little bit too much like Instant Karma by Lennon. But's what I'm listening to.


I'm also listening to THE GORILLAZ. This is a great band or group or whatever you'd call them. The latest album was all done on an IPAD! That is so funny. Eh...some people are bashing it but I'm a true blue loyal GORILLAZ fan. I'm not going to put any of the music here because you can get the entire album at this link and just listen to it for yourself. Most notably for me is Bobby in Phoenix featuring Bobby Womack. GORILLAZ The Fall. 

Oh the heck with it! Here is Bobby in Phoenix


 There was a stupid song released over the winter called Black and Yellow. I can recall sitting in my car speculating why this kid was just saying black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow...over and over. One day I began chanting black and yellow black and yellow and I realized that I have been brain washed! I started asking my kids who made the song and they said Wiz Khalifa. 

Well over the weekend I was listening to the Coachella festival streaming live over YouTube and had heard a great performance by Erykah Badu and Broken Social Scene so I decided that if I wasn't doing anything better I'd listen to Wiz Khalifa. He started playing a song called Roll Up and I stopped everything. I'd heard the song on the radio but never knew who had made it. I decided to pay a little more attention to Mr. Khalifa and found that I liked his mixture of rap, pop, and old school hip hop.

He does sing a lot about getting high and drinking and girls. But he explains why in this song...which I really like. And incidentally, my son is away at college and he made a reference to Wiz Khalifa on his facebook....never never never get on your son's facebook and tell him you like the same rap group as he does. I got a message back saying, 'Oh no.'


Kelly Rowlands! She has this video; Motivation. My mouth fell open when I saw it because she was being naughty! I love this song. I always thought she was the best in Destiny's Child. Also, when Weezy took off his sunglasses I was stunned. He looked just like Jiminy Cricket if he had tats and dreds.


Ben, one of the blog followers got me all turned on to this group PELICAN. Great drums; just pure music with some really nice guitars. 

Also listening to some of Ben's drumming. He's been sending me some cool Memphis music and surf music with great guitar riffs and drum beats.  Like this group; IMPALA

Okay...I'm running out of space. Listening to groups with new albums like TV ON THE RADIO (incidentally their bassist just died), FOO FIGHTERS, and a really really good one by a group called MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA and their song Simple Math. DEATH CAB also has a new album, and The Strokes.

Well that's just some of what I'm listening to lately.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Pep's Top 5 Relationship Deal Breakers

I was listening to the radio the other day and they talked about the 5 things that would be relationship deal breakers. I didn't agree with their list at all...and don't even remember the things they listed. But here is my own personal relationship deal breakers. I would be really really interested to see yours and if you share I'll post it right here in the thread for all the world to see!

Pep's Top 5 Relationship Deal Breakers

5. No tobacco products; cigarettes cause cancer. I have no intentions of investing my life to a guy that willingly subtracts years from his life. And since my last boyfriend chewed tobacco, I know from experience how revolting that habit is.

4. No bad odors. Some like to share in their lover's funk. I don't.

3. No republicans or staunch conservatives. I'm a very liberal individual. I could never date someone that has such different political views then I have. I believe in live and let live and don't enjoy having conservative view points shoved down my throat; and likewise I won't do that to someone else.

2. Long testicles, or big testicles. No explanation needed. I don't want to see your nuts hanging out your boxers or (god forbid) tightie whities.

1. Numeral Uno. Must love music. If the guy doesn't appreciate music, can't get carried away by music, can't understand why others like music...then you gotta get to steppin'! There is once exception and that is if the guy has some type of hearing deficiency that makes music distorted or that he's deaf.

Yep...I know I got some weird ones in there. But there are no exceptions like; what if he's super rich, super handsome and has long testicles? The answer is still no. Unless he gets the nuts tightened up I will become super ill at the sight of them. Looking forward to reading some of yours.

-392OhMyGoodness  had this to say:

All I have to say is woowww about the nut sack comments. I don't know if I have like a list of Deal Breakers for a relationship... I haven't been in many relationships to begin but I know for sure being rude or physically or verbally abusive to me is not gonna work, but then again no one should stay in such relationships. Having someone trying to control me or be the boss of me is number two. And number three on my list is obnoxious guys or men that find it entertaining to point out others flaws and laugh at them in their face. If a guy could go out of their way just to cause others harm then that guy is not for me. Those three things just cause me to shut down, I don't want to have any further dealings with individuals that do such things. I can't really think of another two deal breakers.

ben had this to say:

5 - you're uptight
   don't think you're shit don't stink because you leave stinky just like everyone else. 

4 - no sense of humor
     if you can't laugh at yourself and the absurdities of life then i got no time for your foolishness

3 - different standards
    if you hold yourself to different standards than me i will want to kick you in the box.

2 - smoking
   glad you have an oral fixation, but figure out something else besides something that smelly to suck on.

1 - no sense of self

   be able to stand on your own two feet and have an idea of who you are. i don't need to tell someone what to think, do or say. have your own thoughts, feelings and opinions and be able to stand behind them. 

Dee Dee had this to say: 

#5 Short
I only wrote this one because I couldn't think of five absolute deal breakers. If a guy's shorter than five-ten I wont like him as much. There are exceptions but ultimately I like a super duper tall guy. I tower over everyone all the time and I don't want a guy who makes me feel like some huge line backer but more like an actual woman.

#4 Homebody
We don't have to go out all the time but if we're home all the time I think I'll go insane…sir crazy is the word. Also we don't always have to go somewhere we spend money. A love walking the neighborhood just because its a nice day.

#3 Insensitive
I once had a boyfriend who spilled his drink on me, he apologized but then told me to "chill, its just a dress". He couldn't just respect the fact that I loved the dress and spent my hard earned money for it and just sympathized with me…just a little? Is it asking too much?

#2 Afraid of new things
I don't need a dare-devil or risk taker but someone who's at least willing to try a new restaurant or get on a scary roller coaster with me

#1 No Ambition
Ooooh This is like a huge one. I can't stand a guy without ambition, without a goal, or a dream. I mean, it doesn't have to be big like ruler of the free world, it could be to own their own house, raise healthy children, visit Indonesia. A guy striving towards something churns my butter. 

Casey had this to say:

5. A man with an ugly nose
I know what your thinking I'm a snob, but I have a reason. I don't like my nose so I'm giving my future children a 50/50 chance of having a good sniffer.

4. A man happy in their ignorance
Why wouldn't a person want to know? So you dno't know something go google it!

3. Addiction
if there is a substance that is more imprtant then me I'm not interested.

A guy needs to know their role I should be the most girly person in the relationship.

1. Laziness
Self explanatory. 

Tif had this to say:

#1 A man that won't protect or stick up for me.
Despite my sometimes masculine ways, I am still a girl. Yes, I might often wear loose fitting clothes or belch at inopportune times, but if another man threatens my honor, I expect my other half to kick his ass...or at least have some words with him. If I'm not worth protecting then that tells me I'm of no value to you.

#2 A man who has nothing to show for himself.
I'm busting my ass in college so why aren't or didn't you do the same? We all have circumstances in our life that sometimes prolong our advancement, but once you hit 30, that excuse is pitiful. Living at home with mom in her basement, yet bragging about at least having two plates and your own entrance...hmmmm....Next!!!!

#3 Self-absorbed assholes
I love assertive, aggressive, and confident men. I really do. But if you think the sun doesn't shine until you wake up and take your morning piss, then you and your ego can go jump off a bridge. If you have to make a comment on everyone's little foibles and imperfections only to compensate for your own, then you can just shove that attitude up your ass until you choke on your words. If you think you're perfect, then you would never have the capacity to love someone imperfect as me.

#4 A man with children
I don't have them and I'm not about to babysit yours.

#5 Over sensitive, feminine, pretty boy, selfish, boring sense of humor, lying mama's boys
If I'm crying and having an emotional day, I don't need you to join in. One period is enough. If a spider is crawling on the wall and something near an eek or squeal comes out of your mouth, you have five seconds to get out before I throw you out. If you look in the mirror more than I do and have the nerve, the gumption to say that you think you might be getting fat, break your face across that mirror. If I give you my all and let you into territory that hurts me to think about, and you can't even share or give me a glimpse of who you really are, move before my foot aims for your sack. If your sense of humor is Jerry Seinfeld (even though Krammer was the man know...) and your idea of intellectual stimulation is jacking off to balanced equations, I hope someone fires a neutron up your ass. If you have to apololie (apologize + lie) for and about everything you do, your feelings will be extremely hurt when I do the same to you. And lastly, I am not your mama so if you want someone to baby you (exceptions when sick) and can't stand on your own two feet without her holding your hand, go crawl back in her oven and make sure the doctor slaps you on the way.

And this is why I'm probably single...

(Pep's note: Tif #5 was SCARY)

Britb25 had this to say:

#5 Cheater
I will not stay with a man who is a cheater. I may forgive you but in the end it comes down to the fact you didn't respect me or our relationship enough to be honest. I'm woman enough to tell you how i feel in a relationship so you need to man up and do the same.

#4 Small
I'm not talking about height, I at least need someone who is bigger than my pinky in height and width. I had tried that its not how big you are its how you work it saying. But if I can't even tell if you ever put it in than there is something wrong there. I'm serious his penis was only 2-3 inches hard. I swore never again will I leave a bedroom as unsatisfied as I did than.

#3 Too Hairy
I'm all for a nice groomed beard or facial hair, but if you have thicker and longer hair on your back than your head you have to go. I want to run my fingers through the hair on your head not your back.

#2 No ambitions
I believe in a relationship there should be some sort of equality going on. So if I'm working you better damn well be bringing home some sort of income. I don't care if you have to be a paper boy, I have only 1 child so you need to get off your ass and do something.

#1 Too Clingy
I need my me time, crazy as it seems. it can be an hour to myself to read a book , go out with friends, or doing anything with my daughter. I just don't want a guy who immediately after we make it official is picking out wedding patterns or moving in. You need to have friends or family and stop living right out under me. I've had to exes( key word) who did this 1. Was already making plans to
live with me without me even asking him and the other asked me to spend forever with him on the 2nd date.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Update delayed

If anyone is waiting for todays update of BEAST it is going to be delayed. I wrote on it for a whopping two hours while at work and then emailed it to myself, but it never showed up. That happens at times because I work for the government and a file that huge probably takes Mr. Charlie a long time to read...also, it talks about Homeland Security and terrorism. LOL...actually, come to think of it, it may never show up.


Anyways, I expect it to show up later tonight so I'll just finish up the chapter tomorrow at work. Sorry guys--and I know you're not stressing about it and I'm not either, just don't want anyone to keep hitting that refresh button for nothing. 


Oh, and thanks for your kind words about my family problem. Everything is good.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Family matters resolved

Thanks everyone, my family matters have been resolved. I'll be posting another update to Beast Wednesday!

Monday, April 18, 2011

A delay in posting

Sorry guys that I didn't give you a heads up that there wasn't going to be an update yesterday. There won't be one today either. I intend to update but I have some serious family issues that came up over the weekend. I'm still writing, it's just a lot slower.

Thanks for all of the encouraging words. It keeps me writing!


Saturday, April 9, 2011

Beast chapter 2

I decided to continue with BEAST a bit longer. I actually found it difficult to stop where I did.  I've re-edited chapter 1 to remove references to Christopher aka Beast until this chapter.


Friday, April 8, 2011


I promised a sneak preview of BEAST, and realize that I haven't been posting stories lately so I figure I should put something out to keep you guys interested. It doesn't look like EL Barko posts are doing it. But I have been writing. I've been doing LOTS of writing. I'll have more things to share very soon.

BEAST is my first in a series of TWISTED FAIRYTALES. If you'd like to read it here are the first two chapters. But I'll preface the preview by saying that it is on the BACK burner of all of my other projects. So if you don't like reading things until they are completed then you may want to pass it by.

With that said, BEAST is my recreation of THE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. You will find this is more romantic than erotic, yet there will be steaminess!!!



I don't particularly care for meme's, therefore I felt compelled to start my own. Meme's are catch phrases, or images with goofy subtitles, or other pieces of annoying/non-useful information that generally post to the net or via email and begin a worldwide web craze. My friend's bf made one because he was evidently very bored. I was tickled by it because I was evidently very bored. And so we are starting our own meme with my friend's chocolate lab. I say; go forth and multiply little meme!!!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Plain Will Never Be The Same

"Plain was the same as it ever was the same.
Plainly plain, samely same...
But then someone lit the flame.
Plain rode away on lion's mane.
Where plain met fruits with strangely names.
Such wonderful things they did contain.
A shot of life to a hungry vein.
The captive beast who broke the chain.
And there upon that fruited plane,
is where plain became what plain became.
So much more than more than plain.
Plain will never be the same."
                                          Author Unknown (but heard it on a yogurt commercial and thought it was pretty cool)

Saturday, April 2, 2011


I'm a huge Radiohead fan. Thom Yorke is a KING for having the guts to make this video. I'm too embarrassed to dance like this in the privacy of my own home with no one watching! Bravo Thom Yorke because you look crazeeeee

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