I don't like sports.
There, said it. I don't want to engage in them. I don't want to watch them. I don't want to discuss them. I tried to play racket ball once. The ball whizzed past me. I looked at my then boyfriend like he was 14-kt crazy. That muther fucker could have hit me in the face! I walked right out of the room.
I tried to run after a tennis ball once. I was on one end of the net, the ball went to the other end and I remember grumbling, 'god damnit. I gotta run after that?!'
Because I was nearly 6ft tall in high school everyone wanted me to play girls basketball. I thought...why? Why would I willingly chase a ball up and down the court?
I DON'T GET SPORTS!
I digress...Sunday, my daughter calls me and announces that she is not going to be home until after the Superbowl. And I said, 'Today is the Superbowl?" and she says, "Mom!!" Haha...I had no idea who was even playing. Later that evening I was talking to my friend Y-Not who is a huge sports fanatic and he says, "Ewww...I must turn on mute to stop my ears from bleeding; The Black Eyed Peas are singing..." I scream, "Are they singing Time of My life????" I love that 30 bit part.
But the reason for this drawn out account is to mention something I'd forgotten. SUPERBOWL COMMERCIALS!!!! Oh, and half-time.
I missed all of them, of course. But here are some that I later caught or heard about:
~Doritos; guy sucks the cheese from another guys finger (entitled; the best part)
~Doritos; guy sprinkles Doritos dust on dead things to bring them back to life; including the dead Grandfather.
~BestBuy: Ozzy vs Justin Beiber
~Car commercial with a cute Darth Vader kid
~Snickers; Roseanne Barr/Richard Lewis loggers
~Go Daddy: Joan Rivers in the bod of a 20 year old
~Bridgestone: Email sent to to reply all
~Chevy: Old folks home (commercial plays and old people misinterpret what is said)
~Brisk Iced Tea: Eminem