Saturday, February 19, 2011

5 reason's you ARE married

5. You fell for Disney's propaganda.

Your mother foolishly paraded movies such as Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty in front of you as a child making your impressionable mind give up all independent thinking and fall for the bullshit sold by Hollywood, that a woman needs a man to make their dreams come true.

4. He's Rich!

You did it! You got lucky and snagged a rich man! Yes, he’s a douche bag and he may even cheat but those 3 carat diamond earrings and Loubiton shoes that he buys to make up for it look great!

3. Your Ugly

Lets face it, the world is a very unkind place to an ugly girl. When you find a man who can stomach having you smile your ugly sneer across the dinner table hang on with both hands and marry his ass.

2. Your a Control Freak Bitch.

You are a strong, proud, independent woman, your life is exactly to your specifications, you have made sure of it! To bad you are a raging lunatic that scare children and animals with your loud overbearing ways. Suddenly the perfect man comes along he’s weak and stupid with a mother that you hate because she is just as crazy as you. Luckily your able to steal him away from mommy with manipulation and sex.

1. You got Knocked Up.

The condom fell off. It broke. He said he’d pull out. You had no idea that antibiotic canceled out birth control. Take your pick of excuses, whatever, you have a bun in the oven. Hell no your not going to wait around for him to pay child support he can support all three of you while you get the title and license to prove your not a hoe who doesn’t know how to make him wrap it up. 

*This was written by CASEY as a response to 5 reason's you aren't married.  Thank you CASEY, You have spoken the truth on this one! LOL


  1. Bahaha I do what I can ;)

    You'd never know I am a very happily married woman!

  2. Yeah, it's tongue in cheek. Is it okay if I link this to TSP?

  3. Oh yeah have fun with it.
    Ummm what is TSP?

  4. The Sweetest Taboo. I just joined after being told about the site for over a year. It focuses on Interracial relationships. I was told by several people that I had a following at TSP and decided to check it out. But to become a member requires you to agree to alot of things that I wasn't sure I wanted to agree to. LOL, finally I did and imagine my surprise when I discovered that I had a 9 page long thread devoted to no other than MOI.

    But I enjoy it. Lots of people that are here on the blog are over there as well. Here is the link:

  5. LOL I checked out the site but it seems very high maintenence. I hope they enjoy my funnies though.

  6. Whispers@Casey, they have lots of rules...

  7. Whispers back, I like my dirty stories w/o restriction <3

  8. They have a tonnn of rules, annnd they WILL kick you off for not posting. Happened to my sister, but they have good authors with really good stories. Glad you have your own blog with out posting rules. *ducks and runs*

  9. Yeah they sent me an email two days after I was approved saying, You have alot of fans here Pepper Pace but if you don't post you will get kicked off.

    I was like...damn...

    I didn't know what to talk about so I just ran around thinking everybody! LOL

  10. Well those 5 reasons definitely become my weapons next time in reunion when all women attendants start to yell from their corner to let others know that i am still happily single carefree yippeee, thanks Casey and Pep....very exhilarating.

  11. I'm not sure why alot of married people think single people want to be married. I've lived with guys and it really sucks. So much better if they live one place and you live another. Perhaps that is why marriage doesn't rank high on my must-do list.

  12. Ehhh I think it could be a narcissistic belief that almost everyone has that their lifestyle is the right lifestyle. They try to force reason 5 onto everyone lol.

    Thanks Nee!

  13. here's my take on the reasons being divorced

    5 reasons you’re divorced

    1. You’re too clingy
    Tandem is a term reserved for the Olympics or a Bicycle. Just because you’re married does not mean every daily event becomes a reason for both of you to be synchronized. You don’t need to coordinate attire nor do you have to coordinate every aspect of living. It is okay to still have some shred of individuality within the marriage realm. Women living together might sync up their cycles, but men and women living together should not be syncing up every event.

    2. Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills
    While the Hollywood versions of different socio-economic matches sail away into the sunset to live happily ever after, the reality is the class differences only aggravate your partner. They aren’t seen as quirky or cute once the rings slide over the fingers. Now it’s an issue of dealing with in-laws and deciding vacations/holidays and stress/strife and ultimately resentment. Hey it does work with sane people, but who said marriage was based on anything sane?
    3. You’re a little bit rock’n’roll and they’re a little bit country
    Similar to the above, but you want to listen to Donald Byrd and Pig Destoyer back-to-back (and somehow that’s relaxing to you) and your partner only has music as a background every now and again

    4. Your coffee is too strong
    Your morning routines are vastly different. Your coffee is too strong and gives her the shits. She prefers instant coffee swill. You want to sleep in on the weekend; she wants to get up ass early and “do stuff”. Never shall the twain shall meet (or something to that effect).

    5. Sports
    You enjoy sports, your other does not and does not approve your sports affection. You have to receive permission slips for anything you might enjoy and your other does not (see item #1 above). Why do you want to have something outside your spouse’s enjoyment? Your spouse is all you need to satiate your life. Work + spouse = enjoyment. Huh?

  14. I love it Ben! I was busting out laughing. I'm getting ready to post it now. May I link it to the sweetest taboo website? Of course I'll give you your props.

  15. by all means ....share the warmth

  16. so i guess for first draft i didn't fare too poorly.


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