Thursday, June 9, 2011

Cursing

I do curse a lot. But I know when NOT to curse. I don't curse as much in my writing as I do in my real life. At times I find myself writing Martier and she'll say shit and I'll go back and erase it because it's not something she would say, it's something I would say.

With that said, I want to introduce you to my older sister who writes under the name Mellow Yellow. If you've been following Vampiric Charms (a multi-member role play group that I write in) then you will see that Chapter 8 introduces a new writer; Mellow Yellow, who takes over the role of Jacinda. 

I had initially written Jacinda as a mellow, laid back professional along with her devoted husband Justin. Sissypoo took over the characters and the next thing I know Justin is acting like a crackhead. LOL! Well that's my sister. She's a good writer but she says fuck more times in one post than I do in all of my stories. Also, I think people are kind of scared of her. Anyways, she kind of got written out of the story by the other players but I believe she will attempt to re-emerge showing a 'softer' side.

Here is a peek at a portion of her post. 

..."Well for fucks sake!" Carlisle grumbled. Justin looked up with listless eyes. His skin was ashen and his clothes rumpled. He'd been bled good. But he was alive. "Why the fuck didn't you call me, Justin? I waited all day! And you're just laying here looking like a...ghoul...

“Wha--? What--SHHH!” Justin jumped up fixing his crumpled clothes waving his hands.” SHHH man, Jacinda is resting!” He walked over to Carlisle still fixing his clothes and hair. “Man, I’m sorry I didn’t call, but your sister and I talked well into day break, I just lost track of time.” He stood looking at Carlisle trying to smile. “Man everything is alright, you see” stumbling over his words. “We talked, she’s OK, and you know I was concerned too, but after talking with her…Carlisle your sister is ok!”

Justin stumbled, trying to look normal, trying to regain his strength. He knew Carlisle was there to kill Jacinda, and probably him, he would not let that happen.

Justin begin rambling, not caring what Carlisle thought, “See, the reason I look like this, because after we talked we went to sleep and the reason she is in there, is because that was the only place for her to sleep comfortably and I slept on the floor so nothing would happen. You know Man, I know this looks weird, but everything is cool, so you can leave, NOW!” Justin was beginning to regain his strength; he no longer was smiling at his brother in law, he was glaring at him.

Damn, Carlisle thought. Justin is a ghoul. A ghoul was akin to a crackhead. A crackhead would do anything for that next rock and right now Jacinda was Justin’s rock. That meant that he couldn’t trust anything that would come out of the man’s mouth. He would lie, steal or kill for her.

“It’s cool, brother-in-law.” He said in a calm, even voice. He didn’t lower the gun though. “I’m just here to make sure that everything is ok. I see you’re cool. Now I just need to make sure my sister is.”
Justin began to pace as he continued to work at the wrinkles in his clothes. Carlisle wouldn’t take his eyes off the man. He would be stronger now that he’d drank from Jacinda. Technically he would be stronger then even him, and faster.

“We’re just going to wait here, until she rises, ok?” He calculated how long that would be. Twenty minutes? Forty?
Justin looked at Carlisle, as he scratched his head, ‘He’ll wait,’ he thought, ‘he’ll wait’. Justin’s mind began to wonder, then he became angry, ‘who the fuck does this little, thug ass motherfucker think he’s talking to? I just told him Jacinda is ok!’

Justin glared at Carlisle, and sarcastically said, “Damn man, what? You don’t trust me? Seems to me, it’s because of your Thug ass, we’re here anyway, “Fuck,” pause, “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! Justin roared. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” he yelled, “My fucking wife is dead, her inside torn out through her COCK, you fucking shit head!” He laughed, “Mr. Carlisle Marlin, Hit man, Murderer, loving brother, and son, ha, what a fucking Joke!” he spit out the venoms words.

He looked at Carlisle, noticing the expression on his face, his jaw cracking, fist flexing. ‘Trying to punk me out, he thought. ’Fuck that little pea brain thug!’

“Bitch ass Ni.….” ’Naw, I want let the little prick take me there!’ “Motherfucker, you ran around playing Captain Save the Fucking World, but couldn’t even save your own fucking SISTER!” he yelled pounding his fist into his hand.

“Now my wife is lying in a fucking coffin, dead, but not dead man!” looking at Carlisle, while pointing to the coffin behind him. His eyes watering, he dropped his head, “You destroyed my family, was it worth it?”

Carlisle loosened his grip on the gun that he was squeezing in rage. He wanted to beat this man until there was no more life in his body. Or shoot him a few dozen times. Instead, he lowered the weapon. No one can stand with a gun poised to fire for longer than a few minutes. He was either going to shoot him, or was going to have to make a decision that he wasn’t.
He lowered the gun—but made ready to raise it if necessary. Also, Trey was still behind him and knew that his friend had his back if necessary.

With a sigh Carlisle relaxed. “Justin, hate me if you have to. I’m not going to even try to convince you not to. But if you don’t calm the fuck down I will knock you the fuck out.” His words were calm, he was even formulating 5 different ways that this would be done. He hoped Justin would get it. The jumpy ghoul was one step away from a royal ass whuppin!

Trey gestured. It was a silent signal but Carlisle understood it instantly. The werewolf had heard a movement.

The Vamps were rising...

3 comments:

  1. hahahaha that's your sister??......you know cursing in stories doesn't bother me, but then maybe it's because i curse on a regular lol

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  2. That was something that I was wanting to ask a few people about... about the swearing in a story. I mean every story can't have characters that don't swear, especially if the tale mimics real life situations. In my own piece of short story that I am still attempting to finish, I find my characters- one in particular- swear a lot but I think that's part of his charm, or lack of. I'm still developing his character as of yet, so. The one fan that I do have actually likes the story as is, so I must be doing something right. :)

    -392OhMyGoodness

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  3. Initially I didn't have a problem with cursing in stories. But a few times I read some that were just ridiculous with it and because of that I shied away from too much swearing.

    I don't like it unless it is natural, funny, or making a point. With that said...I curse ALOT. But I bet that would be surprising to you guys out there in BLOG world. The reason being...I know when NOT to curse.

    Case in point. I'm going to upload a rap video that my son made. Lots of cursing...whether it is necessary or unnecessary is up to the listener.

    Pep

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