Friday, April 22, 2011

Pep's Top 5 Relationship Deal Breakers

I was listening to the radio the other day and they talked about the 5 things that would be relationship deal breakers. I didn't agree with their list at all...and don't even remember the things they listed. But here is my own personal relationship deal breakers. I would be really really interested to see yours and if you share I'll post it right here in the thread for all the world to see!


Pep's Top 5 Relationship Deal Breakers


5. No tobacco products; cigarettes cause cancer. I have no intentions of investing my life to a guy that willingly subtracts years from his life. And since my last boyfriend chewed tobacco, I know from experience how revolting that habit is.


4. No bad odors. Some like to share in their lover's funk. I don't.


3. No republicans or staunch conservatives. I'm a very liberal individual. I could never date someone that has such different political views then I have. I believe in live and let live and don't enjoy having conservative view points shoved down my throat; and likewise I won't do that to someone else.


2. Long testicles, or big testicles. No explanation needed. I don't want to see your nuts hanging out your boxers or (god forbid) tightie whities.


1. Numeral Uno. Must love music. If the guy doesn't appreciate music, can't get carried away by music, can't understand why others like music...then you gotta get to steppin'! There is once exception and that is if the guy has some type of hearing deficiency that makes music distorted or that he's deaf.

Yep...I know I got some weird ones in there. But there are no exceptions like; what if he's super rich, super handsome and has long testicles? The answer is still no. Unless he gets the nuts tightened up I will become super ill at the sight of them. Looking forward to reading some of yours.

-392OhMyGoodness  had this to say:

All I have to say is woowww about the nut sack comments. I don't know if I have like a list of Deal Breakers for a relationship... I haven't been in many relationships to begin but I know for sure being rude or physically or verbally abusive to me is not gonna work, but then again no one should stay in such relationships. Having someone trying to control me or be the boss of me is number two. And number three on my list is obnoxious guys or men that find it entertaining to point out others flaws and laugh at them in their face. If a guy could go out of their way just to cause others harm then that guy is not for me. Those three things just cause me to shut down, I don't want to have any further dealings with individuals that do such things. I can't really think of another two deal breakers.


ben had this to say:

5 - you're uptight
   don't think you're shit don't stink because you leave stinky just like everyone else. 

4 - no sense of humor
     if you can't laugh at yourself and the absurdities of life then i got no time for your foolishness

3 - different standards
    if you hold yourself to different standards than me i will want to kick you in the box.

2 - smoking
   glad you have an oral fixation, but figure out something else besides something that smelly to suck on.

1 - no sense of self

   be able to stand on your own two feet and have an idea of who you are. i don't need to tell someone what to think, do or say. have your own thoughts, feelings and opinions and be able to stand behind them. 


Dee Dee had this to say: 


#5 Short
I only wrote this one because I couldn't think of five absolute deal breakers. If a guy's shorter than five-ten I wont like him as much. There are exceptions but ultimately I like a super duper tall guy. I tower over everyone all the time and I don't want a guy who makes me feel like some huge line backer but more like an actual woman.

#4 Homebody
We don't have to go out all the time but if we're home all the time I think I'll go insane…sir crazy is the word. Also we don't always have to go somewhere we spend money. A love walking the neighborhood just because its a nice day.

#3 Insensitive
I once had a boyfriend who spilled his drink on me, he apologized but then told me to "chill, its just a dress". He couldn't just respect the fact that I loved the dress and spent my hard earned money for it and just sympathized with me…just a little? Is it asking too much?

#2 Afraid of new things
I don't need a dare-devil or risk taker but someone who's at least willing to try a new restaurant or get on a scary roller coaster with me


#1 No Ambition
Ooooh This is like a huge one. I can't stand a guy without ambition, without a goal, or a dream. I mean, it doesn't have to be big like ruler of the free world, it could be to own their own house, raise healthy children, visit Indonesia. A guy striving towards something churns my butter. 


Casey had this to say:

Hmmm...
5. A man with an ugly nose
I know what your thinking I'm a snob, but I have a reason. I don't like my nose so I'm giving my future children a 50/50 chance of having a good sniffer.

4. A man happy in their ignorance
Why wouldn't a person want to know? So you dno't know something go google it!

3. Addiction
if there is a substance that is more imprtant then me I'm not interested.

2.Femininity
A guy needs to know their role I should be the most girly person in the relationship.

1. Laziness
Self explanatory. 


Tif had this to say:

#1 A man that won't protect or stick up for me.
Despite my sometimes masculine ways, I am still a girl. Yes, I might often wear loose fitting clothes or belch at inopportune times, but if another man threatens my honor, I expect my other half to kick his ass...or at least have some words with him. If I'm not worth protecting then that tells me I'm of no value to you.

#2 A man who has nothing to show for himself.
I'm busting my ass in college so why aren't or didn't you do the same? We all have circumstances in our life that sometimes prolong our advancement, but once you hit 30, that excuse is pitiful. Living at home with mom in her basement, yet bragging about at least having two plates and your own entrance...hmmmm....Next!!!!

#3 Self-absorbed assholes
I love assertive, aggressive, and confident men. I really do. But if you think the sun doesn't shine until you wake up and take your morning piss, then you and your ego can go jump off a bridge. If you have to make a comment on everyone's little foibles and imperfections only to compensate for your own, then you can just shove that attitude up your ass until you choke on your words. If you think you're perfect, then you would never have the capacity to love someone imperfect as me.

#4 A man with children
I don't have them and I'm not about to babysit yours.

#5 Over sensitive, feminine, pretty boy, selfish, boring sense of humor, lying mama's boys
If I'm crying and having an emotional day, I don't need you to join in. One period is enough. If a spider is crawling on the wall and something near an eek or squeal comes out of your mouth, you have five seconds to get out before I throw you out. If you look in the mirror more than I do and have the nerve, the gumption to say that you think you might be getting fat, break your face across that mirror. If I give you my all and let you into territory that hurts me to think about, and you can't even share or give me a glimpse of who you really are, move before my foot aims for your sack. If your sense of humor is Jerry Seinfeld (even though Krammer was the man until...you know...) and your idea of intellectual stimulation is jacking off to balanced equations, I hope someone fires a neutron up your ass. If you have to apololie (apologize + lie) for and about everything you do, your feelings will be extremely hurt when I do the same to you. And lastly, I am not your mama so if you want someone to baby you (exceptions when sick) and can't stand on your own two feet without her holding your hand, go crawl back in her oven and make sure the doctor slaps you on the way.

And this is why I'm probably single...


(Pep's note: Tif #5 was SCARY)


Britb25 had this to say:


#5 Cheater
I will not stay with a man who is a cheater. I may forgive you but in the end it comes down to the fact you didn't respect me or our relationship enough to be honest. I'm woman enough to tell you how i feel in a relationship so you need to man up and do the same.

#4 Small
I'm not talking about height, I at least need someone who is bigger than my pinky in height and width. I had tried that its not how big you are its how you work it saying. But if I can't even tell if you ever put it in than there is something wrong there. I'm serious his penis was only 2-3 inches hard. I swore never again will I leave a bedroom as unsatisfied as I did than.

#3 Too Hairy
I'm all for a nice groomed beard or facial hair, but if you have thicker and longer hair on your back than your head you have to go. I want to run my fingers through the hair on your head not your back.

#2 No ambitions
I believe in a relationship there should be some sort of equality going on. So if I'm working you better damn well be bringing home some sort of income. I don't care if you have to be a paper boy, I have only 1 child so you need to get off your ass and do something.

#1 Too Clingy
I need my me time, crazy as it seems. it can be an hour to myself to read a book , go out with friends, or doing anything with my daughter. I just don't want a guy who immediately after we make it official is picking out wedding patterns or moving in. You need to have friends or family and stop living right out under me. I've had to exes( key word) who did this 1. Was already making plans to
live with me without me even asking him and the other asked me to spend forever with him on the 2nd date.

19 comments:

  1. in the summer, the satchel is going to be a little on the long side....so is there a little latitude for weather-enhanced stretching or do you just need them turtled up all year around?

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG #2 is so funny, that's my #1. Well actually my #1 is if your nuts are as long as or longer than your dick then it's a no go.

    ReplyDelete
  3. IA, with some of your post I for one can't stand poor hygiene, and Liars, as for the nut sack... Um, firm, tightest is a must, in others words you have to be Holden for me period!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You've given me new things to consider! My family must think I'm crazy because of how I burst out laughing at requirement#2.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Ben
    No.

    @Nicolette
    Some guys are 'growers', and I can concede that there might be a reason why the length of the ball sack is greater than that of the penis--but only if flaccid.

    @Anonymous,
    I enjoy a firm nut sack.

    This is a funny story. My ex bf woke up one morning, sat on the side of the bed and screamed out in pain. I looked over at him in alarm. "What?" He give me a pained look. "I sat on my nuts." So...I just stare at him with a look of confusion. "Don't guys always sit on their nuts? I mean, their right there between your legs. Where do they go if you don't sit on them. So...you don't usually sit on them?" He looks at me with barely concealed tears in his eyes and whimpers, "No."

    It was at that point that I felt fairly certain that I wanted to smack the crap out of him. He's had these balls for over fifty years! Did he just now discover that they could be squashed? Did they suddenly grow so long overnight that he couldn't remember to move them or lift them...

    And furthermore, while in the missionary position I do not want to feel damp balls slapping my ass.

    Alright, done with the TMI

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Delores, I can go on and on about what I don't like about balls but...I'll save you from that.

    ReplyDelete
  7. All I have to say is woowww about the nut sack comments. I don't know if I have like a list of Deal Breakers for a relationship... I haven't been in many relationships to begin but I know for sure being rude or physically or verbally abusive to me is not gonna work, but then again no one should stay in such relationships. Having someone trying to control me or be the boss of me is number two. And number three on my list is obnoxious guys or men that find it entertaining to point out others flaws and laugh at them in their face. If a guy could go out of their way just to cause others harm then that guy is not for me. Those three things just cause me to shut down, I don't want to have any further dealings with individuals that do such things. I can't really think of another two deal breakers.

    -392OhMyGoodness

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ooh As soon as I read this I got my five easily. Side note, I hadnt really paid much attention to nuts.

    #5 Short
    I only wrote this one because I couldn't think of five absolute deal breakers. If a guy's shorter than five-ten I wont like him as much. There are exceptions but ultimately I like a super duper tall guy. I tower over everyone all the time and I don't want a guy who makes me feel like some huge line backer but more like an actual woman.

    #4 Homebody
    We don't have to go out all the time but if we're home all the time I think I'll go insane…sir crazy is the word. Also we don't always have to go somewhere we spend money. A love walking the neighborhood just because its a nice day.

    #3 Insensitive
    I once had a boyfriend who spilled his drink on me, he apologized but then told me to "chill, its just a dress". He couldn't just respect the fact that I loved the dress and spent my hard earned money for it and just sympathized with me…just a little? Is it asking too much?

    #2 Afraid of new things
    I don't need a dare-devil or risk taker but someone who's at least willing to try a new restaurant or get on a scary roller coaster with me

    #1 No Ambition
    Ooooh This is like a huge one. I can't stand a guy without ambition, without a goal, or a dream. I mean, it doesn't have to be big like ruler of the free world, it could be to own their own house, raise healthy children, visit Indonesia. A guy striving towards something churns my butter.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hmmm...
    5. A man with an ugly nose
    I know what your thinking I'm a snob, but I have a reason. I don't like my nose so I'm giving my future children a 50/50 chance of having a good sniffer.

    4. A man happy in their ingnorance
    Why wouldn't a person want to know? So you dno't know something go google it!

    3. Addiction
    if there is a substance that is more imprtant then me I'm not interested.

    2.Femininity
    A guy needs to know their role I should be th most girly person in the relationship.

    1. Laziness
    Self explanatory.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow, Pep, that's quite a list. I'm not quite sure how serious you were in making that your top five. Dishonesty doesn't make your top five? Cheating? I could go on.

    Do you have a real top five that's different?

    ReplyDelete
  11. seriously, those are my real top five. I do value the things you list. They are so important to a relationship. but I stand by my top 5. I MIGHT forgive a cheater. I have forgiven a liar but I won't bend on the things I've listed.

    ReplyDelete
  12. OH MY GOSH...I know some of these answers are really serious but I have never laughed so hard in all my life.@ Ben I'm still trying to imagine them "turtled up".Cheating and lying would be in my top five but the # 1 for me is the guy has got to have teeth and firm lips.Don't wanna be kissing soft lips and dam if you got teeth weather they belong to you or someone else...PUT THEM IN YOUR MOUTH before you try to kiss me!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well, Pep, one thing I like about you is you seem to be unquestionably and unabashedly honest, in your own right. If that's your top five, that's your top five.

    It's a pretty easy list of qualifications to meet, by the way. That is, if a guy doesn't have long testicles. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Phatz...there is one thing that a guy without his teeth in can do EXCEEDINGLY well. I shall leave that to your imagination.

    @I guess, if given a choice, I'd accept the guy with long testicles over a guy that cheats on me or that I can't trust.

    I have some...quirks. I wonder if a person can be slightly neurotic? Is that like being slightly pregnant?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I figured cheating and lying were actually high on your list, Pep. :)

    Slightly neurotic isn't at all like being slightly pregnant. A touch of neurosis can even be somewhat endearing, if it's about the right thing or things. Like long testicles, for example. (Easy for me to say; I don't have them) XD

    ReplyDelete
  16. I recently read that Billy Bob Thornton was afraid of antique furniture. At first I thought he was just being funny but as I continued to read I understood exactly what he meant. I actually could understand why when he explained it. He won't be in the same room with old furniture that has spindly legs. And he can tell the difference between the real deal and the knock-offs. Interesting what gives people anxiety.

    Oh yeah, I'm really attracted to older guys so I'm assuming that I will have to deal with long balls at some point. Here is the conversation that I intend to have with my future long testicled, love interest.

    I would go up to my guy and say, "Honey. I noticed that your sack was getting long and I realized how revolted you are by this. So I've taken the liberty of doing some research and found that you can get a scrotum tuck for 4K. I'm willing to pay that amount...No, no, honey, I'll gladly pay it if you will accept the appointment that I have already made for you at the end of the month..."

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thornton is really neurotic. He won't stay in really old buildings, and won't eat with good silverware. Prefers plastic flatware over silver or high quality stainless steel. Just dislikes things that are or seem old.

    You'd pay 4k to fix your old guy up, huh? I was going to say that's very generous of you, but I guess it would be more for you than him, wouldn't it? I've never even heard of a scrotum tuck.

    Your deal breaker list has brought about some interesting comments. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ooooh I couldn't help but do this one.

    #1 A man that won't protect or stick up for me.
    Despite my sometimes masculine ways, I am still a girl. Yes, I might often wear loose fitting clothes or belch at inopportune times, but if another man threatens my honor, I expect my other half to kick his ass...or at least have some words with him. If I'm not worth protecting then that tells me I'm of no value to you.

    #2 A man who has nothing to show for himself.
    I'm busting my ass in college so why aren't or didn't you do the same? We all have circumstances in our life that sometimes prolong our advancement, but once you hit 30, that excuse is pitiful. Living at home with mom in her basement, yet bragging about at least having two plates and your own entrance...hmmmm....Next!!!!

    #3 Self-absorbed assholes
    I love assertive, aggressive, and confident men. I really do. But if you think the sun doesn't shine until you wake up and take your morning piss, then you and your ego can go jump off a bridge. If you have to make a comment on everyone's little foibles and imperfections only to compensate for your own, then you can just shove that attitude up your ass until you choke on your words. If you think you're perfect, then you would never have the capacity to love someone imperfect as me.

    #4 A man with children
    I don't have them and I'm not about to babysit yours.

    #5 Over sensitive, feminine, pretty boy, selfish, boring sense of humor, lying mama's boys
    If I'm crying and having an emotional day, I don't need you to join in. One period is enough. If a spider is crawling on the wall and something near an eek or squeal comes out of your mouth, you have five seconds to get out before I throw you out. If you look in the mirror more than I do and have the nerve, the gumption to say that you think you might be getting fat, break your face across that mirror. If I give you my all and let you into territory that hurts me to think about, and you can't even share or give me a glimpse of who you really are, move before my foot aims for your sack. If your sense of humor is Jerry Seinfeld (even though Krammer was the man until...you know...) and your idea of intellectual stimulation is jacking off to balanced equations, I hope someone fires a neutron up your ass. If you have to apololie (apologize + lie) for and about everything you do, your feelings will be extremely hurt when I do the same to you. And lastly, I am not your mama so if you want someone to baby you (exceptions when sick) and can't stand on your own two feet without her holding your hand, go crawl back in her oven and make sure the doctor slaps you on the way.

    And this is why I'm probably single...

    ReplyDelete
  19. #5 Cheater
    I will not stay with a man who is a cheater. I may forgive you but in the end it comes down to the fact you didn't respect me or our relationship enough to be honest. I'm woman enough to tell you how i feel in a relationship so you need to man up and do the same.

    #4 Small
    I'm not talking about height, I at least need someone who is bigger than my pinky in height and width. I had tried that its not how big you are its how you work it saying. But if I can't even tell if you ever put it in than there is something wrong there. I'm serious his penis was only 2-3 inches hard. I swore never again will I leave a bedroom as unsatisfied as I did than.

    #3 Too Hairy
    I'm all for a nice groomed beard or facial hair, but if you have thicker and longer hair on your back than your head you have to go. I want to run my fingers through the hair on your head not your back.

    #2 No ambitions
    I believe in a relationship there should be some sort of equality going on. So if I'm working you better damn well be bringing home some sort of income. I don't care if you have to be a paper boy, I have only 1 child so you need to get off your ass and do something.

    #1 Too Clingy
    I need my me time, crazy as it seems. it can be an hour to myself to read a book , go out with friends, or doing anything with my daughter. I just don't want a guy who immediately after we make it official is picking out wedding patterns or moving in. You need to have friends or family and stop living right out under me. I've had to exes( key word) who did this 1. Was already making plans to live with me without me even asking him and the other asked me to spend forever with him on the 2nd date.

    Those are my top 5 as of right now~ Britb25

    ReplyDelete

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