Thursday, January 20, 2011


I began a new story entitled CRASH. I feel I should explain some things before I post. I'll never apologize for a story (only for a crappy updates when I know that you and I both deserve better), however, this is a story that has some very strong themes. Obviously, you wouldn't be reading this blog if you don't already know the topics I tackle.

But this is different.

"  There was no beginning and there is no end. There is just the moment when everything came crashing together, and that was where it started."

These are the opening lines of CRASH and that is how the story came to me. Literally one minute before I first began writing it, I had no idea that this story was inside of me. It totally came out of the blue and it made my hands shake. I had no choice but to open up a fresh word doc page and began letting the story flow out of me.

Now here comes the part where I referred to the apology...This story has some very strong references. Male rape, incest, child abuse. Is this story about those things? No. But these very disturbing topics are referenced and because of that I warn people who are sensitive to these topics not to read this particular story.

Also...I'm not going to tell you what the story is about.  Because one minute before I began writing, I had never ever considered writing anything remotely close to this. But the story came and the characters told me where to go and I followed and I feel that you will just have to do the same.
There is a 'light' that glows bright in my head when I am on the right track with a story...and when I stray it dims. And when it dims I stop writing (or should). That light stayed bright for most of this story and I wrote the first 40 pages over the MLK weekend. The second half dimmed because I had to 'step' in and sort of direct the story to the end. I believe that CRASH doesn't want me to do this...

Am I giving CRASH too much power? Yes...because I don't write this kind of stuff and I still have no idea where this story came from.

CRASH may be the truest thing I've ever written...and I don't even feel as if it's mine. And though I've told myself that I wasn't going to post partial stories anymore because it is stressful, I truly need some feedback on this one. If you hate it tell me, if you love it tell me.




  1. Hey Pep,

    The first paragraph made my stomach flip. That hasn't happened in a while.

    I think it's really good, and I'm interested to see the twists and turns their relationship will take.
    I like how meta the character of Sophie is. I'm guessing anyone who asks how much of yourself is put into Sophie will risk getting smacked? :)

  2. meta. I really like that word and I haven't seen it before. I pulled it up on the urban dictionary and will probably be using it at some point:)

    Haha, if the story of Mouse, which is the story of Sophie is actually the story of Kim/Pep then Sophie should start a WRITING THERAPY blog like I did and she'll feel alot better. :)

  3. read and commented. you warn us about writing outside of the "normal" box. so far i liked, no loved every single one you wrote. we'll keep on cheering from the sidelines, be your silent or very vocal muses. ;-)

  4. Thanks Mokkelke. I think it's only fair to post a disclaimer when I deal with such tender subjects even though, truly, which of my stories doesn't deal with difficult issues? LOL.

    Child abuse is an incredibly difficult one for me to write about, though, but it is often times the root of the 'adult' problems that I tackle in my stories. And therefore, it is often times broached when I write.

    Eh...I need to find a freaking happy story to write. SERIOUSLY!

  5. you don't hear us complaining ;-) it may have been written as fiction, but it holds so many true facts that it is always a joy to read, no matter where the emotional joyride takes us to.
    we keep coming back like a moth to a flame.
    you a "happy" story, think we wouldn't be able to handle that and we'd come over knocking on your door demanding hourly updates hahaha

  6. I think I'll just stick with happy endings. On Literotica they have a genre called 'Loving Wives' or something like that. Alot of people have told me that it is their favorite Lit genre. I cringe at the title.

    I can't even bring myself to read one, but I'm going to try. If it's about the perfect wife, perfect home etc I will probably develop hives.

  7. i couldn't write there, i love my weres and vamps too much. my own little gettaway from reality ;-) beside they are rather ruthless if you write a bit out of the norm in that section *shivers*

  8. Loved it!!! Looking forward to reading more of this story. After WOS, this is definitely a favorite. Keep up the good work. Anxiously waiting for the next part:)

  9. I have to admit I was scared when I read the disclaimer. I have to say though that it wasn't as bad as I feared.

    I saw you in this story all the way. The difference between this and others is that the abuse is fresh. I think that its a great breakthrough in your writing! I'm excited and terrified to see what you bring next with this story.

    I would suggest though that you maybe research some victims of male sexual assault. I find it difficult to believe that he's just all cool after some crying and a kind hand from one person.

    I also have to say that I admire your fearless reference to abortion. Not many writers I think fear its controversy.

    Great Job but don't be afraid to go deeper. Or even a little darker.


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