Saturday, August 2, 2014

I will be MIA for a while

Hi everyone,
I'm writing this in a semi-sleep filled grog. I just slept for nearly 18 hours. 

I want to take a moment to let you know what is going on with me. I mentioned on my blog that my Mom was diagnosed with endometrial cancer late in 2013. I mentioned that I'm the primary care giver for my mom though we do have a host of wonderful people willing and able to help with home care, transportation, etc.  and they are an amazing help.

After Mom's last cancer treatment (Yay!) which happened 2 weeks ago, she got very ill and contracted pneumonia (Boo!) and had to be admitted to the hospital through emergency. It's been 2 days and her fever won't break. Day 2 in the hospital had her fever spiking at 103 degrees again.

That my mom is the only thing on my mind goes without saying. These last 12 months have been terrible for my family. I lost 3 uncles and a cousin within a 3 month period of time. Nearly lost another cousin due to a terrible car accident. I walked out on my uncle's funeral because I just couldn't deal. My mom is in so much pain she keeps begging to die. How do you tell your Mom that you are not allowed to die--you will just have to endure this pain and keep on going? It's been terrible for her because she's experienced the loss of family AND has endured it while in crippling pain and constant sickness. 

I have agreements with friends and clients to write--but my mind has been far removed from writing. Still I was able to put out Everything is Everything, Becoming the Dominus and Urban Vampire despite feeling as if my life is crashing and burning. 

My writing agreements have been nearly fulfilled and after that I need time to focus on myself and my family. I put my own medical needs on the back burner because I simply could not put anything else back there (semi-smile). I've known for several months that my CA-125 level was slightly elevated, but ovarian cancer treatment is not on the list of things I want to deal with. However my Mom has been relentless so now I've put myself on the front burner.

Part of taking care of myself is to keep you guys in the loop. I don't mind sharing this information with my friends fans and family, and my mother gave me permission long ago to share her info. There are other things going on in my life which I won't share--and again, none of it is conducive to writing. 

I don't want you to think that I am taking a break, or a hiatus in my writing. I still write nearly every day. But if you ask when a particular book will be released my answer will have to be I. Don't. Know. As soon as I write them and they come back from the editor (Yes...ALL books go to the editor now) I upload it. I never hold a book in order to give a specific date of release. I upload it as soon as everyone has given me the thumbs up and therefore I do not know a specific date.

My fans have been and continue to be the most supportive fans ever. I'm not patronizing you when I say this. You keep me writing and you encourage me to keep moving forward. The funny thing is this...of all things that I would like to put on the back burner writing ISN'T one of them. Writing is what keeps me sane. 

I'm still here folks ... just a bit slower.



  1. Wow, Pepper. It sounds like such an overwhelming time on so many levels. Please don't worry about trying to create for anyone but yourself at this time and then only if you find it helpful. I'm sure your legion of fans will join me in sending heartfelt best wishes and prayers for you and your Mom. Take care of yourself. Please. Remember that's why the parent puts on the oxygen mask on first. It's the first and best rule of caregiving.

  2. Hello Pepper, You come first. Please take care of yourself and mother. Sincerely Bain

  3. I understand where you're coming from Pepper, please take care of your mother and yourself. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

  4. I second all the wonderful voices here and say Please take care of you and your family first- your fans/friends will understand . My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family. Jazzintea

  5. You're so strong Pepper. My thoughts prayers are with you and your family.

  6. My deepest thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom, and your family. Take all the time you need - we'll be here when you return. :)

  7. I'm overwhelemed and in awe of your strength, dedication and your ability to have dealt with all of this and still have the ability to accomplish all that you have. You and your family are in my prayers, and when you're ready - I'm sure I speak for many (if not all) that we will still be here. You're a tremendous talent and if it's even possible, I'm an even bigger fan than I was before I read this entry.

  8. Take care of you!! Thank you for sharing this with us when you didn't have to. Seeing what you are going through makes me take inventory of what I am doing to dealing with the things that are weighing me down in my life. Thank you for showing so much courage. - Monica

  9. thank your for sharing. I am praying for your family. take all the time you need we are understanding fan, cause we all have trials and tribulation we encounter in life. jus PUSH on and remember to PRAY. take care of yourself mentally and physically. Love CKC

  10. Praying for you. Stay strong. You and your family are more important.

  11. I think I speak for all loyal fans when I say " take all the the time you need, we'll be right here when you return." Life is a trip, but your books provide a bright spot along the way. Be blessed and inspired. It's always darkest before the dawn.

  12. I just finished part one of Everything is Everything. I have to say that you are becoming one of my favorite authors throughout all the genres I read. Like Toni Morrison in "The Bluest Eye" you show me myself, thoughts, and history as a backdrop in your stories. Please keep writing.

  13. Thank you everyone. I had such high hopes for 2014 but no matter what you 'want' to put into it, the world sometimes has other ideas.

    My Mom is home after 3 days in emergency and is feeling fine. Her doctor told us that there is no sign of the cancer and now it is just a matter of getting her healed up enough to be MY primary care giver for my next bout of surgery to deal with my own issues. Good news, though I have to have surgery my CA-125 levels are going down and cancer is probably not an issue. But surgery is unavoidable. Keep us in your prayers as I keep you in mine

  14. Hi Pepper,
    It's been awhile since I've checked in and wow what a whammy!! You're in my thoughts. Take care you you and your family.
    All the best

  15. I am so sorry and saddened to hear of your pain and struggles Pepper. Your unique universes have allowed me the chance to momentarily escape my own demons. I only hope that you have something you can turn to that allows you peace amongst the chaos. I will put you and your mother in my thoughts and prayers. May God bless you.

    A Beloved Fan��


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