Twenty years ago today I gave birth to my first born. In the years since having him in my life, I feel blessed beyond measure. My son is smart, talented, he is gifted in many ways and having him in my life made so many of my lows bearable. Without my children I would have found the struggle pointless, but because of them I mark my success as OUR success.
I recall the first time I experienced the strange flutter in my stomach that felt like a muscle spasm. It took me a minute to realize that it was my baby. I was awestruck. It was a big 'Wow' moment. Me, a person that felt so insignificant to the world had created a life. Imagine my amazement when that first little butterfly flutter in my stomach developed into a smart and talented man that bypassed our family's depression. I am so happy that he views the world as a conquest, full of opportunities. I am so proud of him. I am proud to be his mother and I'm proud that I was able to create a person that will definitely make his mark in this world.
I remember when Cameron was about eight or nine and I asked him if some time in the future he might want to live with his father. Sometimes we mother's ask questions and make offers that are senseless because I was NEVER letting my son go, but the offer was made in a moment of retrospect. My son looked at me and he said; "I like visiting my Dad. But home is with you." I remember thinking, YAY!!!
20 years ago today, I understood that my life had changed and that I was completed devoted to the fat little baby boy that looked like me and his father...and strangely, Cheech Marin....I understood that I was holding in my arms a person that had as much power over me as I had over him. Happy birthday son. I love you.