I want bacon

I wake up thinking about a BLT for breakfast. I do the mental check in my head before giving in to the craving. Tomatoes (check), Lettuce (organic romaine, check check!!), bread (two types of wheat, check), bacon (just bought another pound and there is still half a pound in the freezer, big CHECK).

I go dig out the huge pan, open the fridge. I search and search, only to discover that the bacon is gone.

There can only be one culprit. My son. How does one skinny 19 year old eat a pound and a half of bacon????

I had gone grocery shopping about 10 days ago, took my kids so that they could pick out treats and foods that they'd want to eat over the summer. My son is standing over by the bacon and asks if we should get some. I tell him no, we already have some at home. I'm not overly fond of breakfast. I'm a big fan of lunch and dinner but breakfast...not so much.

When he is still lingering over by the bacon I tell him to pick up another pack as I contemplate BLTs for dinner on some hot night. He gets nearly giddy especially when I tell him its on sale. Incidentally, my business major son insists that we bargain shop. I had reached for my gallon sized jug of Liptons iced tea with citrus and he points out that we can get FIVE 2 liter sizes of the cheap stuff for only five bucks. And I say, "But I like this..." and he says, "I bet you don't even use coupons, do you Mom?" and I say, "No it's too time consuming..." He responds with, "When I get married my wife is going to use coupons and as a matter of fact I'm going to be the one doing the shopping so that she won't waste my time." Well alright.

So back to the bacon. We buy it and then ten days later (which is this morning) I wake up and there is no bacon. There was a pound and a half of bacon. Now there's none. Now, I don't normally crave bacon because, as I said, I'm not a fan of breakfast. Bacon stays in my house for weeks even months (I keep it in the freezer). My daughter doesn't cook and is not a huge fan of meat. So I fully expected the bacon to be there for a while. (Note that I keep using the word bacon. Each time I do I salivate a bit).


(THIS IS ME)

Okay, so I decide to make sausage patties. They are hidden in the freezer. Guess what? The sausage patties are gone also. But then I remember that I ate those so never mind. One carton of eggs is gone, most of the metts, all of the beverages--which I've since been back to the store to replenish along with more chips, popcorn, etc. and fresh fruit. I notice that the turkey hot dogs remain untouched...

Not sure where he puts all of that food. The honey turkey is gone too, so is the peanut butter. And he has a job and is not home all of the time, so when does he even have the time to eat?!!! He comes home and goes right back out to hang with friends. My son's been away at college for a year. I forgot that this is one of the reasons I stayed broke all of the time.

Well I don't really care about him eating so much, or how much it costs, or any of that. I just want my bacon to be there when I open the fridge craving the rare BLT.

Well I know that some of you are just sitting there thinking that I could just go to the store. Just to pick up one pound of bacon? That would never happen when I need laundry detergent, more food, more beverages etc. I'll be in that store an hour. I didn't plan on spending my Sunday morning at the grocery store--especially when its raining.

I'll send him.


(HA, BET YOU ALL WANT A BLT, NOW, DON'T YOU??? MUAHAHAHA)