ODE TO THE MCRIB

I was talking to my friend Ynot via internet and mentioned, 'Hey, the McRib is back, did you know it?' and he said; 'Yeah, it's been out for about a week.'

An entire week????

I missed a week of McRib???

Let me explain, I have these uncanny obsessions.  One of them is with the McRib sandwich.  The idea of the McRib sandwich makes my hands shake and my mouth water.  I told my friend Ynot that I would be getting my McRib tomorrow for dinner, to which he replied, 'Good for you...'

Yeah yeah, so he doesn't understand.  I don't even understand.  The idea of it is disgusting; pork by-product shaped into the form of a babyback rib and then dipped into sauce to mask what it really looks like.  Who would fall for such a sham?!  ME!!!  I love you McRib...

Um...I digress.  Dinner the next night turned out to be something different.  I had thawed out pork chops a day before and needed to cook them.  I cooked the porkchops, smothered cabbage sauteed in onions and bacon, yukon mashed potatos with the skins still on them, baked sweet potatoes, corn bread (Jiffy mix), and it was so beautiful...but all I could think about was my McRib sandwich.  Oh, I ate every delectable bite of the pork chops--but I still wanted the McRib.

So at work today, I wondered if I would have time to dash to McDonalds at lunch, get parked in the garage, and be at my seat all in half an hour...no.  Not possible.  So I settled back to wait for dinnertime. As I was leaving the building and deciding which McDonald's to hit so that the food would be at the optimum in freshness and warmth, my cell phone rang and my ex-boyfriend (still good friend) called me.

'Hey, Kimmie' (he calls me Kimmie), 'I know you like this so I wanted to let you know that Popeye's Chicken has their crawfish again.  It's called the crawfish tackle box and I just got it yesterday.  It was so good!'

I stopped dead in my tracks.  Popeye's crawfish is even better then the McRib...

I explained that the McRib was back and he was very lackluster with that revelation.  Damn him!  Why couldn't he have told me a day later?!  I kept with the plan and headed for my closest McDonalds, got my daughter her usual nuggets and then sat down with the beautiful sandwich before me.  I kid you not, it looked just like the picture above!  It was sheer perfection. 

The first bite; fresh soft bun, a hint of pickle, the crunch of onion and then the tangy sauce.  My eyes are closed as I chew, several french fries and then a sip of icy Coca Cola to chase it down.  As I write this two hours later, my mouth begins to water.  The last bite was as good as the first.

So my ex calls me and I explain about my love affair with the McRib and how I'd marry it except eating it would then be frowned upon--which he then made dirty jokes about. He's coming over to house sit so the furniture guys can come in with my new bedroom head and footboard and he asks, 'Want me to stop and get you anything--another McRib'

Damn you Ex-Boyfriend!  Damn you.  Do you know how tempting it was to say no but you can stop and get me a crawfish basket from Popeyes.  But I did not.  I had some type of control. 

Tomorrow is another day and I might be writing another Ode--this time to the Crawfish Basket.